My College Experience

As a senior in college, I am not accepting the fact that I will soon be a college graduate. These past four years have absolutely gone by in the blink of an eye and if you’re a freshman I advise you to take advantage of every single moment.

I was so excited as a freshman to start a new chapter in my life, but I expected it to be much different than it ended up. Expectations and reality did not match up at all lol!

My first year in college was a disaster grade wise. There are two different types of freshman.. those who adapt well and those who don’t. I was someone who did not adapt well to college life. I was so eager to make as many friends as possible. I and my best friend lived together freshman year and that definitely had its pros and cons.. I recommend living with someone who you don’t know so you can grow your group of friends and still be able to cherish the friendship that you have with the person you know. There were benefits and drawbacks to living with my best friend.

Freshman year I did awful academically and socially. I was staying up until 2-3am with friends and not getting my work done. I always wanted to be around people and try to make friends.

If I wasn’t with friends then I was napping. I advise limiting the number of naps that you take and limit the amount of time the nap is. I would take a two-hour nap after my 3pm class and then go to the dining hall at 5, spend an hour there, hang out with friends after, and avoid doing any sort of work or studying… I had extreme FOMO. I felt that if I wasn’t always surrounding myself with friends then I would be left out in the future. I was miserable and living such an unhealthy lifestyle. Also, the freshman weight gain is not a lie. I lived off of easy-mac, sandwiches, and ramen. ew.

I made some friends freshman year, but I was such an introvert it was difficult. I found it hard to make quality friends and still remain true to who I was. I felt so much pressure to go out and party. I learned freshman year that I was not a partier, it made me super uncomfortable because of growing up with an alcoholic mother. I opened up extremely quickly to my new friends, told them everything. Just remember that no one has your back except you and those who have been with you for years. After freshman year I realized how much people used me. Freshmen weren’t allowed to have cars on campus, but I had privileges to have one. I found myself always driving people around. I had a lot of really nice things as a freshman and would give my belongings away if I didn’t use them often… like really nice stuff I was just giving away to people who I hadn’t even known for a year. By the end of the second semester the friends that I had made would only talk to me when they needed something, and now looking back at that it’s so embarrassing that I was so blind. The only person who truly still cared about me was my best friend who I lived with. I was constantly miserable and moving out at the end of freshman year was the best thing to happen all year.

My best friend decided earlier on that she wasn’t going to live on campus because of how close we live to the school.

About a week before my sophomore year I decided to not return back to dorm life. That was the best decision I ever made. I really kept to myself after freshman year. I focused so much more on my academics and my grades improved so much. I was going to professor’s office hours, studying, doing my work, and getting proper sleep. I really had to focus on my relationship with myself.

When there were major events on campus I would distance myself as much as I could so I didn’t feel sorry for myself. I often would go to the city with my best friend so we didn’t feel like we were missing out on our college experience. Sophomore year was extremely laid back and I didn’t do much – that was totally fine with me. My boyfriend and I really worked on our relationship after my freshman year and I truly worked on him being able to trust me again. My best friend and I had a much healthier relationship sophomore year. I started to love myself again regardless of how many friends I had (or didn’t have).

Junior year was a great year. I made dean’s list during the fall semester and was thrilled and so proud of myself. I really enjoyed the progress I was making in my major and found a minor that I was extremely passionate about. Unfortunately, my health junior year was rocky.

I was feeling extremely sluggish and tired. My body hurt constantly, I bruised incredibly easily and bled a lot. I also slept a lot too. I thought it was due to a medication change, but after constant doctors appointments and an ER visit or two, I was advised to see an oncologist. This was at the time of the presidential election, which caused major emotional setbacks in my life in regards to who I trusted and how friends from home treated me (another story for another time). After seeing an oncologist he was certain that this pain was all in my head. He said to me that he would amuse me and do blood work to prove to me that I was healthy… he lacked all sorts of bedside manners – so rude. Turns out that I had a blood disorder that required medical attention & after he realized that, the way he treated me totally changed.. he became much more empathetic. I received a treatment for the blood condition and would get check-ups after that, but the drug for the treatment would knock me out for days.. I would feel so out of it and slept the day away the following days after. To stay on top of school and my emotional health, I continued to surround myself with my high-school friends. I would still distance myself from the social aspects of college and try and travel as often as possible. My best friend and I went to maybe one party fall semester for Halloween, it was fun but I couldn’t imagine doing that every single weekend.

The fall semester took a toll on me emotionally and I really wanted to finally do something for myself. I decided that I would get a consultation for a breast augmentation. I decided that the surgeon who I already trusted would do my boob job.. he and his staff were fantastic. There were setbacks because of my bleeding disorder and hospitals would not allow him to do the surgery at the location because of it. After a constant back and forth and changing the dates of surgery, his staff finally found a location that allowed the surgery to take place. IMG_5238

The surgery took place over winter break and the hospital only allowed it to occur if I got a treatment for my condition before the surgery. The same day as surgery I got the drug treatment and got the surgery within minutes of the treatment. My breast augmentation was the best purchase I have ever made. The next few days after surgery I slept constantly.. I think I was only awake for 2-4 hours a day. I started to feel much better on Christmas eve (did I mention I got the surgery like 6 days before Christmas? lol). My boyfriend and his family were truly incredible and allowed me to stay with them to heal. A majority of my relatives looked down at my decision, but I didn’t take it to heart because this was something I talked about getting done for years.

What really bothered me was getting text messages from those who I distanced myself from at school, saying XY&Z were gossiping about how you got a boob job and blah blah blah. I think winter break of junior year was a big time for me as a person because I stopped caring about what people were saying, I was just really happy with myself. I started to stop caring what I posted on social media, I became authentic and posted whatever I wanted… this includes more risque pictures lol. 45565A3C-0450-4BBA-A45D-8B80BCFB4CB3

During a big weekend of Junior year, everyone was excited to spend a weekend filled with binge drinking and partying. Once again, I don’t like drinking much or partying at college, so I and my best friend visited our other best friend at her college. Surrounding myself with genuine friends is so incredibly important to me. The only thing that I would change about my college experience is how I acted Freshman year and not staying true to who I am. OH – I would also change the major that I chose lol. I wish that my minor was my major and that my major was my minor – does that make sense?

I learned a lot from college, but the most important thing that I learned was to love myself and the importance of staying true to who I am.

Thanks for keeping up with me!

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2 comments so far.

2 responses to “My College Experience”

  1. Leo says:

    I really enjoy the diary aspect to this post, it’s really cool. Graduating college is huge, you are basically an adult after that. It’s exciting but still a bit terrifying. “What am I going to do? Do I actually want to work this job? Should I just work for myself? Who am I? All that sort of fun stuff. No longer do you identify as a student so by default you are an adult, yet you don’t feel like one. I’m still trying to figure that out lol.

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